On January 18th, 2009, at 8pm I walked in through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous for the first time and I consider January 19th, 2009 as my first day of sobriety. My first year in sobriety was one of massive changes, the second year was one of building solid foundations and this third year....well we shall see. The program of AA has saved my life and has changed me for the better so I thought I would write about my journey in sobriety. (I want to note that by "the program of AA" I am talking about working the 12 Steps of AA, having and using a sponsor, attending meetings, engaging in service work and practicing these principles in all my affairs).
Before I continue I must admit I'm not a big fan of journaling for a couple reasons. The first reason is that in the past I always have been a sucker for cool, hip looking journals from Barnes and Noble or other cool stores, with the thought that THIS time I was really going to use the journal and I was going to write. What happened was I brought the new fresh, hip and cool journal home, wrote maybe two entries at most, sometimes didn't write a singe line and then with a "one day I will do it" delusional thought, set the new, cool and hip journal on the shelf or under the bed. By the way, I have a collect of never used, hip and cool journals in a box somewhere if anyone needs one. Typical for me in all areas in life...I had the best intentions but zero action.
Number two, my sponsor says (let's just note right here, you are going to read that phrase a lot so I'm going to use "mss" for "my sponsor says" or "my sponsor said") that unless you are going to use journaling in some way to help others, it is just one more excuse to be into "self". So with that being said, why am I high tech journaling on this blog?
My first reason is to use this blog as a way to allow my family into my life and to join me in spirit as we trudge the road of happy destiny. Secondly, if they or someone else can use my "experience, strength and hope" to reach another suffering alcoholic that would be even better. My "drunkalog" may enter these pages from time to time, simply as a tool to explain myself better, however the main purpose of writing is to focus on the solution, not the problem. Third, it seems that writing about what I learn from the "Big Book" (slang for the book used in AA), my sponsor and other teachers in AA, helps me review and remember. Plus, it may be a good way to meditate on the new ideas I'm learning.
Warning: As far as sobriety is concerned, I am very new and still crazy at times in my thinking. However, it is spiritual progress not perfection which is important to me. I freely admit there is so much I do not know and that I am learning about in life, spiritual matters and the AA program. I hope to continue to grow spiritually on a daily basis. As such, I may write something that those of you who are older and wiser completely disagree with and I am sure I will be wrong about things or I may not exercise restraint of pen when I should. So, I would ask for your patience and tolerance as I grow and write about that growth. For friends and family members who visit this blog; there may be certain personal experiences from my life which you remember completely different from what I write, please note that this is only from my point of view and it may be wrong, plus there is much that is fuzzy due to obvious reasons.
So welcome to the blog
One final note. The 11th AA Tradition states that "we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films" which is why I have not included my personal name on this blog. I'm not sure if using my name would violate this tradition, but just in case I am choosing to remain anonymous to avoid bringing possible harm to AA as a whole. I ask that others who might post comments on the blog to use first names only and please respect everyone's anonymity.
If you are reading this and would like more information about Alcoholics Anonymous I would be more than happy to talk privately.